Kristaps Porzingis made quite a splash in his return to the Boston Celtics’ lineup Monday night. Oversized wave-benders tend to do that.
That applause you heard came from high atop the Rockies.
No, not from the Nuggets, who are looking less and less like a potential NBA Finals opponent for the defending champs.
But from the visiting Knicks, who know Porzingis a whole lot better than the Celtics.
The enigmatic 29-year-old carries a lot of baggage wherever he goes. He needs it to haul all his loot.
Rest assured: The suitcases have wheels. His back can’t handle the weight of $177 million in career earnings, let alone the expectations of a desperate NBA franchise. Or two. Or three. Or now four.
Make no mistake, the Knicks were exactly that when they made the generally unknown Porzingis the No. 4 overall pick of the 2015 draft. And they still are today, no thanks to the Latvian Lightweight, who sat next to Spike Lee about as often as he lined up next to Carmelo Anthony and Derrick Rose in 3 1/2 dreadful seasons.
The problem with Porzingis’ wasn’t his attitude. It was his body.
Bean poles tend to snap in the NBA. Ask Ralph Sampson. And has anybody seen Chet Holmgren recently?
Luckily for the Knicks, the winds of desperation also blow through Central Texas, so they were able to extract two first-round picks from the Mavericks as a Porzingis parting gift.
Unfortunately, the proverbial door appears to have hit Porzingis in the back side on his way through the exit, because he’s still limping today.
It didn’t take Mark Cuban long to learn a little something about NBA economics: What doesn’t sell in New York often doesn’t sell in Dallas, either… especially at five times the price.
Three years later, the Mavs accepted a gym bag full of used scorebooks in order for the Wizards to take the now-journeyman off their hands. Only to suffer the same fate.
Three strikes and… Porzingis appears to have hit a home run. Last June, the big oaf was moved once again and now wears an NBA crown atop his head.
Apparently it must be heavy.
After missing many of Boston’s most important games last season, Porzingis watched the first 17 this year. Even Celtics fans have stopped counting.
The tin man just can’t stay upright.
The funny thing is: The Knicks wish their old pal the best of health. Their spot in the NBA Finals might depend upon it.
Like 28 other teams in the NBA, Knicks management has identified the Celtics as the team to beat en route to the 2025 championship. Unlikely the other 28, the Knicks have done something about it.
Actually, they’ve done a lot about it.
With Mikal Bridges and OG Anunoby, they now have the shackles to lock down Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown. Not that Tatum, one of the worst shooters in postseason history, and Brown, on record pace for most missed 3-pointers, will stop jacking.
And with Karl-Anthony Towns, they have more than just the complementary piece needed to take the offensive weight off Jalen Brunson. They have the perfect matchup for Porzingis.
The best way to attack the Boston defense is with a floor-spacing big man. Enter Towns, whose 2-for-2 night shooting threes in Denver on Monday were just enough to pull Nikola Jokic from the basket, clearing space for the normally offensively challenged Anunoby to sneak in and score 40 points.
That’s what they’ll need to do against the Celtics, who can lock down three positions with the best of them. But Tatum doesn’t like to guard anybody, and without Porzingis around to protect the basket, Boston’s vaunted defense all of a sudden becomes vulnerable.
Anunoby is already licking his chops.
And at the other end of the floor, Porzingis doesn’t have that kind of perimeter prowess. So while Towns anchors in the key, cutting off Tatum’s deadly ventures into the defensive belly, the Knicks can let Boston’s vaunted 36-percent 3-point-shooting big man fire away.
That is, if he’s even still a 36-percenter. His trumpeted debut Monday featured 1-for-6 shooting from deep, something with which the Knicks became quite familiar when the tallest man on the court at all times connected on 33 percent from deep as their marquee rookie.
Hey, it could have been worse. In a Giannis Antetokounmpo impersonation, he slumped to a downright embarrassing 28 percent that got him fired by Cuban.
In a merciful twist of fate, the Knicks are praying Porzingis is still celebrating a healthy honeymoon come May.
Ten years later, he just might lead them to a championship.